Penis Size or Prowess: Which Matters More?
Penis size has been mistakenly equated with sexual prowess in our culture. Interestingly, this mistake is made by men more often than by women. Many myths exist about the relationship between penis size and other parts of a man’s body, such as feet, nose, and fingers. Jokes about penis size abound but they have no meaning. That’s because, simply put, size has little to do with sexual satisfaction or manliness. Yet, it is sometimes difficult to convince some people that this is so.
Some people have thought that large penises are more psychologically arousing than smaller penises. To my knowledge, only one study in 1983 by William Fisher and others (Journal of Sex Research, volume 19) has studied the influence of penis length on sexual arousal. Although the male and female subjects in this study were clearly aroused by the erotic stories they were given to read, there was no relationship between the degree of arousal and the size of the penises described in the stories.
If you want to convince yourself of the sexual importance of large penises, no doubt you could collect a group of sexual partners who were highly attracted to penises of a certain dimension. And, while there’s no denying that a turn-on is a turn-on, I have always been amazed at the broad cultural acceptance of the tyranny of size when it comes to penises.
Two things are often forgotten when it comes to heterosexual penile-vaginal intercourse. First, the vagina is a very elastic environment through which a baby can pass, yet it’s one that easily retains a tampon. In other words, it snugly accommodates whatever it surrounds. Second, about three-quarters of women don’t reach orgasm by intercourse in the “Look, no hands” manner, no matter the size of the inserting object. They need direct clitoral stimulation.
There’s a familiar saying, “It’s not the meat, it’s the motion.” This captures the essence of sexual turn-on for both men and women — unless they’re into collecting people merely for their trophy potential. And if that’s all there is, the eroticism often wears off pretty quickly.
People who do the following experiment can gain valuable insight. Take several dildos of different sizes and insert them while blindfolded. See if you can detect the difference between five and seven inches (the penile dimensions that include most of mankind).
Many men feel quite content with the size of their penis when erect, but are uncomfortable with it when flaccid. Some of their anxiety might be relieved if they knew the following: penises that appear small when flaccid grow a great deal more in size when erect than those that are larger when flaccid. Sex researchers, Paul Jamison and Paul Gebhard analyzed the Kinsey data on erect and flaccid penises to arrive at this conclusion (Journal of Sex Research, 1988, volume 24). So, in today’s language, there are “growers” (those that gain size when erect) and “showers” (those that get erect, but with little change in size).
Many men would also feel less concerned about locker room impressions if they understood that just as a man’s sense of smell or his eyesight are not dependent on the size of his nose and eyes, respectively, neither is his sexual capacity based on the size of his genitals.
Still, there may be reason to explore old psychological issues or insults that may influence a man to have concern about penis size. Therapy can be very helpful — especially if he has feelings that he’d like to change.
Penis size has been mistakenly equated with sexual prowess in our culture. Interestingly, this mistake is made by men more often than by women. Many myths exist about the relationship between penis size and other parts of a man’s body, such as feet, nose, and fingers. Jokes about penis size abound but they have no meaning. That’s because, simply put, size has little to do with sexual satisfaction or manliness. Yet, it is sometimes difficult to convince some people that this is so.
Some people have thought that large penises are more psychologically arousing than smaller penises. To my knowledge, only one study in 1983 by William Fisher and others (Journal of Sex Research, volume 19) has studied the influence of penis length on sexual arousal. Although the male and female subjects in this study were clearly aroused by the erotic stories they were given to read, there was no relationship between the degree of arousal and the size of the penises described in the stories.
If you want to convince yourself of the sexual importance of large penises, no doubt you could collect a group of sexual partners who were highly attracted to penises of a certain dimension. And, while there’s no denying that a turn-on is a turn-on, I have always been amazed at the broad cultural acceptance of the tyranny of size when it comes to penises.
Two things are often forgotten when it comes to heterosexual penile-vaginal intercourse. First, the vagina is a very elastic environment through which a baby can pass, yet it’s one that easily retains a tampon. In other words, it snugly accommodates whatever it surrounds. Second, about three-quarters of women don’t reach orgasm by intercourse in the “Look, no hands” manner, no matter the size of the inserting object. They need direct clitoral stimulation.
There’s a familiar saying, “It’s not the meat, it’s the motion.” This captures the essence of sexual turn-on for both men and women — unless they’re into collecting people merely for their trophy potential. And if that’s all there is, the eroticism often wears off pretty quickly.
People who do the following experiment can gain valuable insight. Take several dildos of different sizes and insert them while blindfolded. See if you can detect the difference between five and seven inches (the penile dimensions that include most of mankind).
Many men feel quite content with the size of their penis when erect, but are uncomfortable with it when flaccid. Some of their anxiety might be relieved if they knew the following: penises that appear small when flaccid grow a great deal more in size when erect than those that are larger when flaccid. Sex researchers, Paul Jamison and Paul Gebhard analyzed the Kinsey data on erect and flaccid penises to arrive at this conclusion (Journal of Sex Research, 1988, volume 24). So, in today’s language, there are “growers” (those that gain size when erect) and “showers” (those that get erect, but with little change in size).
Many men would also feel less concerned about locker room impressions if they understood that just as a man’s sense of smell or his eyesight are not dependent on the size of his nose and eyes, respectively, neither is his sexual capacity based on the size of his genitals.
Still, there may be reason to explore old psychological issues or insults that may influence a man to have concern about penis size. Therapy can be very helpful — especially if he has feelings that he’d like to change.
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